Articles to empower you!

Since 2023, I've been invited to write articles for the monthly newsletter at the Personal Empowerment Studio. I've wrote about glimmers and gratitude, mindfulness and grounding, as well as ways to set boundaries, improve communication in your relationships, and foster more balanced and intentional living.

As I wrote each article, I've found that they felt connected by various threads of hope, compassion, and (of course) personal empowerment. I'm posting these short articles on my website so that you can revisit the messages as needed.

If you're a member of the studio, please look for my newest article in the monthly newsletter sent to your inbox! This October, it will be: Embracing the shades of autumn: How to get ‘unstuck’ from all-or-nothing thinking

August 2025: Mindfulness for busy minds

Do you ever get so caught up in your thoughts that you struggle with sleeping or focusing on work? It’s not uncommon to have a busy mind, but it can be exhausting and frustrating! Getting stuck in ruminating (thinking about the past) or worry (thinking about the future) can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves, others, and the present moment.

Mindfulness is the practice of directing our attention with ‘non-judgmental acceptance’* to the present. It allows us to notice our thoughts come and go, rather than following the endless loop or spiral. Sounds good, right? I’ve been studying and practicing mindfulness for years, and yet, my mind always wanders during savasana at the end of yoga class. Be gentle with yourself if you struggle with ‘being present’; mindfulness is not meant to be a perfect practice, and it requires oodles of kindness and compassion.

My favourite way to practice mindfulness is in everyday moments. It’s like pressing the pause button when we notice ourselves overthinking, doom scrolling or feeling too much or not enough. To practice a mindful moment, you approach whatever task you're engaged in with curiosity. Notice what you see, feel, hear, taste or smell. I’ve listed more practices below for you to consider trying.

Mindful Moment #1: While brushing your teeth, notice the way the toothpaste smells and tastes, as well as the feel and sound of the toothbrush gliding across your teeth.

Mindful Moment #2: Connect with nature. Go outside for a walk, smell the flowers (yes, this sounds cliché and it works), or place your bare feet on soft grass.

Mindful Moment #3: Eat without distractions. Observe the way your food tastes and feels.

Mindful Moment #4: While exercising in a way that feels safe for you- walking, stretching, lifting, cycling or dancing- connect with how the experience feels in your body.

Mindful Moment #5: Pause and focus on your breath. Notice each inhalation and exhalation.

Wishing you more mindful moments the rest of this summer!

*Non-judgemental acceptance means that we’re not focused on whether we like or dislike the sensations or experience. We don’t resist it or focus on the way it ‘should be’ and just allow it to be what it is. (Super hard but very helpful.) If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness and other coping skills, please contact myself or the mental health professional of your choice. Visit www.flourishwithcompassion.com for more information. If things feel unsafe physically or emotionally for you, please call 911, go to your nearest emergency department or phone Crisis Services Canada at 988.

June 2025: Summertime boundary-setting

After a very cold and snowy winter, the warm summer sunshine is so welcomed. As we enter the next few months there may be opportunities to go to parties, barbecues, picnics, vacations, camping, the beach and more. For some folks the summer means more time off and for others it might mean increased busyness at work and/or juggling kids’ schedules. 

Whatever your summer looks like I encourage you to consider the boundaries you would like to set to protect your time and energy. Boundaries help you communicate what you want or need and assert your feelings and limits. They determine how much you have available to give and whether you want to offer some of your energy to any person, activity, or circumstance. It guides you on when to answer ‘yes’, ‘no’… or ‘maybe’ to requests or invitations. 

How do you set boundaries?

1. Check in with your feelings and internal capacity. How full is your cup? Will this opportunity fuel you or drain you? Would you like to do it, or do you feel obligated?

2. Assess if this is something you feel ready to make a commitment of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to or if you need more time to think. It is okay to say ‘maybe’, ‘let me get back to you’ or ‘I will have to check my calendar’.

3. If you want to say ‘yes’, decide if there are conditions. Is there a time limit? Maybe you would like to stop in at the work party for an hour and then head home early. That is okay! Or maybe there are no conditions, and you will go with the flow of the moment, staying longer or less depending on how it goes. 

4. If it feels like too much, doesn’t suit or doesn’t feel right (or the right time) then say ‘no’. It’s okay to say no because you feel too busy and it is okay to say no even when you’re not busy or don’t have plans. By saying ‘no’, you’ll have the chance to say ‘yes’ to something that matters more.

5. Be clear and concise in communicating your boundaries. You do not need excuses or explanations or need to qualify it. A simple ‘yes, thank you’ or ‘no, thank you’ works. Or you can say, ‘yes, I’d love to come but I’ll need to leave around 8pm.’ Or, ‘thank you for inviting me, but I won’t be making it and hope you have a wonderful time.’

Setting boundaries around your time and commitments will help you protect your summer experience. It will allow you to invest your time and energy in the ways that nourish you and who and what matters.  

This article is written for informational purposes only and the practice of setting boundaries can be challenging for so many different reasons. The books I have found helpful for connecting with your own inner voice and boundary-setting are:

The Let Them Theory (2024) by Mel Robbins

The Set Boundaries Workbook (2021) by Nedra Glover Tawwab

If you would like help finding a mental health professional that can further support this journey, please connect with me at www.flourishwithcompassion.com.

January 2025: Wishing you a gentle new year

Hello Personal Empowerment Studio family!

There is so much pressure to set goals and resolutions at the start of a new year. If you feel inspired to create change then follow that energy. However, you might also feel exhausted from the holidays or needing time to recover from a year with challenges and losses. For me, I find it helpful to direct my focus on a gentle intention, hope, wish or, even more simply, a word or two that will guide me through the year. Last year, I chose ‘connection’ which served me well in (re)connecting with myself and others. It also carried me through some difficulties.

I have listed some words below for you to reflect on. As you read the list, consider how you have been feeling and what you need ‘more of’ or ‘less of’ in your life. Sometimes a combination of two or three words creates space for feeling, needing, and dreaming for more than one thing in your life. 

Abundance

Anchor

Authenticity

Creativity

Communication

Compassion (one of my favourites!)

Connection

Confidence

Energy

Fun

Fulfillment

Gentleness

Gratitude 

Growth

Healing 

Hope

Intuition

Imagination

Joy

Meaning

Movement

Passion

Purpose

Planning

Progress

Reflection

Release

Renewal

Rest

Restoration

Security

Simplicity

Strength

Zest

If you would like guidance in this process, please contact me and I will send you resources that can help: www.flourishwithcompassion.com.

December 2024: Holiday Burnout

The holiday season creates the opportunity to celebrate and connect with loved ones, but it can also magnify feelings of overwhelm, stress and loneliness. There are many pressures, responsibilities and emotional heaviness that we carry throughout the year, and it seems to multiply during the holidays. Ideally, when we navigate stress and hardship, we have the opportunity to process and heal from it. However, when we don’t have the time or resources to do so, these difficulties accumulate and can lead to burnout. Burnout occurs when our bodies have been overtaxed and overextended and let us know that ‘enough is enough’. Burnout isn’t a weakness, it's a reflection of caring deeply and working hard without emotional recovery. It’s often a dedication to the work and the people that matter but forgetting about caring for ourselves. 

Listed below are three main signs of burnout* and ways to cope through 'release and reset'.

1. Complete and utter exhaustion- the feeling like we’re running on empty and have nothing else to give. Everything feels like too much, so we find ourselves going through the motions of a task, pushing things off for as long as possible, or mindlessly scrolling or distracting ourselves. 

Release and reset: To attend to the exhaustion, we can find ways to regularly acknowledge, safely feel and release our emotions. This can be done through journaling, talking with a trusted friend or therapist, crying or laughing (or both), getting outdoors, expressing ourselves creatively and exercise. Try scheduling time each day to attend to these needs.

2.  Disconnection from our minds and bodies. It’s noticing that we don’t have the energy to care about things (or ourselves) the way we used to.

Release and reset: Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention to the present moment. It allows us to reconnect with what we’re feeling emotionally and physically. We can practice mindfulness through deep breathing and a scan of our bodies to notice where we’re carrying stress or pain. Once we become more aware of our suffering, we can then respond with self-kindness and self-care by attending to our needs. For example, when we’re feeling rushed, we might need to intentionally slow down and have a cup of tea.

3. Decreased sense of satisfaction, joy or fulfillment. This can also show up as a lack of motivation and focus.

Release and reset: If it’s available, pause and take an hour, day or week off. (This is hard if the stress comes from our families). We can use this time to attend to the first two signs of burnout then reconnect with our values and priorities. Create a list of holiday events and activities and consider which of these will contribute to restoring wellness and what will drain it. Setting boundaries around our time and commitments is key to reducing burnout, increasing self-care and moving into the new year with renewed energy and focus.

Recovering from burnout is possible and it can be difficult to unpack and tackle on your own. Connect with a trusted person, a professional helper (therapist, counsellor, life coach) or your healthcare provider.

If you’re in crisis or need of immediate support, call 911, go to your local emergency department, contact Here 24/7 (Waterloo-Wellington) at 1-844-437-3247 or the suicide helpline at 988.

*Read more about this in the book, ‘Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle’ by Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski.

October 2024: Letting go of toxic gratitude

As Thanksgiving approaches and the leaves fall from the trees, we’re reminded of both the importance of being thankful and of the release that comes with letting go. 

Our brains are wired to focus more on negative experiences and events as it helps with our survival, so it can be a beneficial practice to focus on the small and big things in our lives that we feel grateful for to create some balance. However, where it gets ‘sticky’ is when gratitude feels forced or like a ‘have to’ and evokes guilt or shame when it has been overlooked or not prioritized. It can also become toxic when we’re expected to diminish our own difficulties. Sometimes our hearts become so heavy or burdened it is hard to notice the good. Give yourself compassion for this- life is messy and complicated! That being said, creating a practice of genuine gratitude is beneficial to our physical, mental and emotional health.

Genuine gratitude allows us to be mindful of the gifts, privileges and glimmers* in our lives while acknowledging the challenges. We can practice this by noticing and naming our struggles (e.g., ‘I feel overwhelmed’), offering ourselves compassion (e.g., ‘which is understandable as I’m juggling a lot of balls’), then adding an ‘and’ to express appreciation for the things in our lives (e.g., ‘and I’m glad to have the people/pets and work that creates this fullness’).

If life circumstances makes it hard to access gratitude, start with noticing ‘micro moments’ of thankfulness, such as:

·       the feel of the warm sun or cool rain,

·       the fresh feeling after brushing your teeth,

·       seeing the wind blow through the trees,

·       hearing your favourite song on the radio,

·       the savoury or sweet taste of your favourite fall drink or snack,or

·       feeling the relaxation or energy in your body after your favourite exercise class.

This October, consider ways to let go of toxic gratitude and embrace genuine appreciation for what is in your life.

This article is for informational purposes only. It does not represent therapeutic advice. Our lives and experiences are diverse and the challenges around accessing gratitude (especially during hard times) is understandable. If you need support around this, please contact me at flourishwithcompassion.com or the helping professional of your choice. *See the May 2024 Personal Empowerment Studio newsletter to learn about glimmers.

September 2024: How full is your cup?

Imagine you have a cup of water inside of you. It represents how much caring energy and capacity you have available to give in a day. Sometimes you wake up with a full cup, but other days (for example, if you had a difficult sleep), you may wake up feeling half-empty. After a particularly difficult or demanding period, you may feel like you're functioning at (nearly) zero capacity for several days or weeks in a row.

We need to protect our internal ‘cups’ as they allow us to give caring, loving and positive energy into this world. To do this, we need to monitor our capacity, seek activities and people that fill it, and always leave something left in the cup for ourselves. This last point is an important practice in self-compassion: ensuring we do not completely drain our cups.

Take a moment to pause and check-in. How are you feeling today? Do you feel energized or focused? Do you feel tense or overwhelmed? Do you feel weighed down or exhausted? Do you feel hopeful or empowered? So often we move through our day distracted, disconnected, or driven to tackle the next item on the 'to do' list. I encourage you to consider regular check-ins throughout the day so you can take stock of how full your cup is.

Setting boundaries allows you to protect your energy and capacity. It allows you to define your limits, so you do not drain your cup and have nothing left to give to the activities and people that matter, including yourself!

Make space for filling your cup regularly. You can protect your energy by giving less away and you can increase it by giving yourself more of what you need. Create a list of your ‘cup-fillers’, which might include deep breathing, getting outdoors, exercising or moving your body joyfully, spending time with nourishing friends and family, drinking water and eating regularly, getting enough sleep and rest, reading, journalling, meditating, drawing, gardening, listening to music, and talking with a compassionate person or counsellor.

Read more about boundaries and protecting your internal resources in my blogs, “Creating Healthy Boundaries” and “Saying No with Compassion, Saying Yes with Intention” at www.flourishwithcompassion.com.

*This article is for informational purposes only. It does not represent therapeutic advice.

July 2024: Grounding in the present moment

With the increase in the number of sunny days, many of us notice our moods improve and that we feel more hopeful, motivated and even optimistic. However, we can still experience storms inside of us even when the weather outside is lovely. Worries, fears, and challenges in life can cause us to feel weighed down, overwhelmed and disconnected. Feeling flooded by feelings or racing thoughts takes us out of the present moment and brings us to a place of what has happened in the past or what could happen in the future. 

Grounding strategies are simple, accessible ways to physically reconnect with the here and now. These strategies do not take the feelings or thoughts away but do help decrease the intensity of them. A useful grounding exercise to try is called ‘five senses’; it helps you shift your focus away from inner turmoil and towards things you see, hear, physically feel, smell, and taste. To practice, you can pause in your current surroundings and take notice of things around you. Or you can intentionally seek out more pleasurable sensations. I prefer to engage in this exercise outside, as there is much more to see, feel and ground myself in.

Five Senses Exercise

5. Name five things you can see around you. If you’re indoors, you might name furniture, colours of the walls, the pattern of the floor, and other objects that are usually part of the background of your life. If you’re outdoors, you can name different flowers, trees, buildings, and vehicles.

4. Name four things you can hear. This can include the hum of your computer, the ticking of a clock, the chirping of birds, or music playing in the background. I like to play songs that make me feel happy or are associated with good memories.

3. Name three things you can physically feel. Notice how your feet feel ‘grounded’ to the floor, the squishiness of a pillow when you hug it, the gentle weight of a blanket around your shoulders, the softness of your yoga mat as you lay down on it, or the warmth (or coolness) of the water when you wash your hands.

2. Name two things that you can smell. It could be the fresh smell of cut grass or flowers, the rich smell of coffee or tea, or a soothing scent of your favourite essential oil.

1. Name one thing you can taste. Select a flavour that is easily available, enjoyable and safe for you to drink or eat. Notice if it is tangy, sweet, spicy, savoury, or neutral. I often keep a dish of mints in my office for this practice.

There are numerous grounding strategies to try, and sometimes you need to engage in more than one to help the feelings ease or pass. They are also meant to be practiced in a physically safe environment and they do not work for everyone, all the time. If you’d like to learn more about grounding, mindfulness and other coping skills, please contact myself or the mental health professional of your choice. If things feel unsafe physically or emotionally for you, please call 911, go to your nearest emergency department or phone Crisis Services Canada at 988.

May 2024: Become a Glimmer-Seeker!

Have you ever had a bad day and then heard your favourite song on the radio? Or had a friend call you at just the right moment? Or felt a bit better when the dark clouds cleared to reveal the warmth of the sun and the beauty of a rainbow? These are ‘glimmers.’* Glimmers are small, unexpected moments that bring up feelings of happiness, joy, peace and even hope. In these moments, our overly active brains (and nervous systems) sigh with contentment. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. Triggers put our bodies on high alert that something is wrong or unsafe. We’re hardwired to notice negative threats (real and perceived) as it helps with our survival. The more difficult experiences, traumas, and losses we experience, the more sensitive we are to triggers. Thankfully, we’re also designed to see the goodness in the world, but if life has handed us too much for too long, we may need to look more intentionally for it. As we move into the warmth, abundance, and growth of Spring, I encourage you to create a glimmer-seeking practice.

To seek glimmers, we simply need to be open to them. Many of us (me included!) can be preoccupied and distracted by our own thoughts or our devices. To notice glimmers, we need to look around us more. Right now, as I sit at my desk, I made the point of pausing to look out my window. When I did so, I noticed the way the sunlight plays off my blue vase in the window, the cute little sparrow that keeps visiting the corner eavestrough (likely a nest there), and the majestic trees at the back of our farm. This glimmer-seeking practice only takes a few minutes, a few times a day.

To get your started, I’ve listed some ideas of glimmers to notice or seek:

• the smell of fragrant flowers or freshly cut grass,

• the feel of the warm sun on your skin or a cool, refreshing rain,

• the sound of a child’s laughter or the whistling of birds,

• the sight of a rainbow on a stormy day or the awe of the stars in the sky,

• the crunching sound of dirt or dried leaves under your feet,

• the satisfaction of getting a task done,

• hearing a favourite song playing on the radio or in the store,

• getting an encouraging text or message from a loved one,

• reading something in a book, online or even on a billboard that ‘spoke to you’ at just the right moment, or

• feeling the warm, softness of a cuddly blanket, sweater, or furry friend.

  
  

Glimmers can be universal- like watching a sunrise or sunset- or they can carry personal meaning that is unique to you. To turn a glimmer into a glow*, try holding onto the good feelings of the experience and carry it with you for the day. I find it helpful to write it down, share the experience with a friend, or take a picture or a video of it.

I hope that this inspires you to look for more glimmers around you. If you’re struggling to experience moments of joy, hope or contentment, please consider talking to a mental health professional of your choice or contact me at flourishwithcompassion.com.

*Deb Dana, Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection.

March 2024: Creating Balance in Bite-Size Pieces

Do you ever feel like you have more to do than you have time, energy, or motivation for? Do you feel guilty for not giving enough time to one or more areas of your life? Finding a way to balance all our responsibilities and commitments, not to mention caring for ourselves is challenging! Health and life circumstances that rob of us of energy, capacity or focus to do all ‘the things’ makes it even harder. And the idea of balance looks different for everyone, so what works for your neighbour, friend or partner might not work for you. Even setting time aside to reflect on and create balance might seem like too much, which is why I have laid out the steps in bite-size pieces. *

First Bite…

Take 5-10 minutes to pause from doing and ‘just be’. Focus on your breath, look out the window (or better yet get outside!), and give that busy brain a break. This is your opportunity to create space to slow down for a moment and reflect.

Second Bite…

Consider the priorities and necessities in your life. You might list specific relationships, activities, hobbies, paid work, community work, child and animal care, home maintenance and repair, and so forth. This will include things that you have to do and want to do.

Third Bite…

Which of the items on your list matter most? Consider urgency and importance to prioritize making time and space for them. Ranking something at the bottom of your list does not mean you devalue it; it might simply mean it does not matter right now.

Fourth Bite…

Are there any items on your list that can be shared with or delegated to others? Asking for help is a sign of strength and we are not meant to do it all alone.

Fifth Bite…

Add time to rest and recharge. Often, we leave this last on the list or do not consider it until our bodies force us due to illness or injury. Yet, both are essential to sustaining our well-being and creating opportunity to flourish. Restful activities allow us to disconnect from demands (e.g., sleep, yoga, meditation, reading) and recharging activities allows us to reconnect with ourselves (e.g., trying something new, doing something creative, spending time with our favourite people). We need rest to calm our bodies and we need time to recharge to bring us energy and joy! Give yourself a few minutes each day to engage in a restful or recharging activity and then build from there. Notice how these small moments of self-care nourishes and energizes you and gives you greater capacity to tackle all the other important tasks in your life.

This ‘bite-size’ process can be spread across hours, days, weeks or even months. Taking time to reflect on and reorganize how and what you invest your time in may help you find YOUR balance. As you make your list, remember that you need space to balance the things in our life that help you survive and to achieve balance you need space for the restful and recharging activities that help you thrive.

*This article offers general information on finding balance, it does not represent therapeutic advice and does not consider your unique life experience or capacity. Please connect with a trusted person or professional to help rebalance your life. You can contact me at www.flourishwithcompassion.com.

February 2024: The Power of Genuine Listening

Have you ever had someone ‘just’ listen? When someone genuinely listens, they hold space for all our feelings and thoughts, so we can share without feeling judged or the need to be fixed. True listening involves kindness, compassion, and an effort to understand the experience of another. It is viewing the world from their lens of experience, rather than our own. Is this tricky? Oh yes, genuine listening is an active process and can leave us feeling both exhausted and energized. However, it also enhances our connections with the people we work with, care about and love.

The first part of listening involves active engagement. That means putting down devices, removing distractions, and giving our full attention. If you are in-person, turn towards the speaker, make eye contact, and nod your head where appropriate.

Secondly, listening involves the practice of empathy, whereby we imagine what the other person is feeling and clarify our understanding through questions. For example, “that sounds overwhelming, did you wish you could just take a break or the day to yourself?” These questions show we are listening and can elucidate misunderstandings. Someone might respond, “yes, it was overwhelming, but I don’t need a break, just more help.”  

Finally, genuine listening is challenging work. Take time to care for yourself after intense conversations and talk to the people who will actively listen to you too!

Consider taking with a counsellor, therapist, or life coach if you would like a safe space to be heard, understood, and supported. Connect with me at www.flourishwithcompassion.com.

January 2024: Empowered Intentions for 2024

 

The start of a new year often feels like a ‘fresh start’ and an opportunity to create change. Change is good, in fact, the process of creating needed change is empowering! However, too often resolutions or goals are based on expectations or pressures of who and how you ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to be, which can be rooted in fear, shame and, overall, not feeling good enough as you are. Just the process of setting these goals can feel overwhelming and have you focusing on the things not going well. It can also trigger self-doubt about making change and cause you to question, ‘what’s the point of even trying?’ If this resonates with your experience of resolutions, I would like to propose an alternative: setting empowered intentions. Empowered intentions are flexible, fluid, and they are anchored in your personal strengths, internal values, and inherent worthiness. Intentions guide you to what you want in your life, they are not items that are checked off a list. I have found the process of reflecting, resetting, and recharging useful in my intention-setting, and I hope it helps you too.

Reflect: Start the year by taking time to pause and reflect on what truly matters. Empowerment comes from knowing your strengths, going after what you want, and setting boundaries, limits, and distance with that which is unhealthy. Grab a journal or talk with a trusted person and start reflecting on the following questions:

• What do I need more of or less of?

• What worked well in 2023 and what did not?

• What are my strengths and how can I utilize them better? 

• What are my opportunities for growth? 

Reset: Sometimes intended changes are too big and it is hard to know where to begin. To create a ‘reset,’ you need to take your broad intentions and break them down into small steps or habits that can be practiced regularly. For example, an intention to live more mindfully can be practiced by establishing a habit of meditating for three minutes before bed or eating one meal a day without distractions.

Recharge: Maintaining your healthy habits and having the stick-to-itiveness to your empowered intentions requires time to rest and recharge. Take days off with compassion and get back to routines and intentional living with ease and non-judgment.

Remember, you can create change at any point in the year, not just in January. Many of us feel exhausted after the holidays, so we may need to recharge first, then reflect, and reset. Talking with a counsellor, psychotherapist or life coach can be helpful with identifying needed change as well as creating and maintaining it. I welcome you to connect with me through www.flourishwithcompassion.com to discuss further.

December 2023: 5-Minute Holiday Check-in 

What do the holidays mean to you? Perhaps it’s a time of joy, gratitude and giving to others. It can also be a season where your losses and loneliness, and your responsibilities and pressures can feel magnified. Or it can be a combination of any of the above. Holidays bring up complex and sometimes contradictory feelings, which can feel uncomfortable and draining. Increased triggers and stress can lead us to focus more on what is expected of us and less on what we’re feeling, needing, or wanting. Thankfully the holiday season is temporary, but we need to have capacity to navigate them without depleting ourselves. Given that time and energy might be limited right now, I’m offering a 5-minute (give or take) exercise that will allow you to reconnect, recharge and give yourself care and compassion.

1. Use your body as a barometer for how the holidays stress, sadness and pressures are affecting you. You might feel tightness, heaviness, or emptiness in various parts of your body from your head, neck and jaw to your chest, stomach and legs. Notice where you carry it and then use these body signals as a reminder to pause and check-in with your emotions.

   
   

2. Find somewhere quiet- go outdoors, lock yourself in the bathroom or bedroom or sit in the car- and take a few deep breaths. Place your hands compassionately on the part of the body that hurts or feels heavy as you breathe. 

   
   

3. Take a moment to reflect on what you’re feeling and name it. You might give it a traditional ‘feeling’ name (e.g., anxious, agitated, or sad) or you may create your own name that suits (e.g., blah, yucky, icky). Naming the feeling is surprisingly powerful as it provides acknowledgment and invites understanding, compassion and validation. Give each of these to yourself. For example, “It’s understandable that you feel yucky given that your aunt keeps asking why you haven’t found ‘the one’ yet”. Sit with that feeling (for a few seconds to a few minutes) while offering love and kindness to yourself and your circumstances.

   
   

4. Ask yourself what you need and want. You may choose to leave the event early, to stand up for yourself, to eat what your body wants, or to stay quiet and protect yourself with some compassionate walls until the holidays are over.

   
   

5. Respond to those needs with the action that you have the capacity for in the moment and create a plan for extra care later that day or week. Self-care is different for everyone: it might be calling a supportive friend whose got your back or can make you laugh, or it might be curling up in a blanket with your favourite movie or book. It could also be getting outdoors for a long walk and intentionally seeking small joys like the watching the sunrise or noticing the twinkling lights at night. Or it might be unrolling your yoga mat and gently stretching your body- particularly the painful and uncomfortable bits that hold all the ‘feels’.

The holidays can be a time to connect and celebrate, and they can be exhausting and draining. Give yourself a ‘holiday check-in’ at least once a day and more if needed. Just as a vehicle needs fuel to keep running, you need care and compassion to get to the end of this season. If you need support over the holidays, contact your safe people, schedule an appointment with a therapist, or call Here 24/7 at 1-844-437-3247.